The Bishop and the Beast
by Rashomon Aetelier
Summary: PG13 for mebbe cussing. Dunno. Anyway, what happens when the cast of Suikoden (all three) are forced to do a musical parody due to Luc's rudeness? [SasaraiLuc]
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Beauty and the Best doesn't belong to me, neither does Suikoden. They belong to Disney and Konami respectively. I wanna own Sasarai and Luc but... oh well. Cicero "Sey" Kahran appears c/o Rokuryu Studios. Aurthor's Note: This is AU so don't wonder what Dios and Sarah are doing in this fic, save for others in Suiko1.  
  
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The Bishop and the 'Beast' Prologue  
  
Once upon a time there was a vampire named Neclord who lived in North Window castle. Even though it seemed he had been killed years ago by Viktor, Hix and Tir McDohl he was...well... Alive.  
Viktor took up the Star Dragon Sword once more and with the help of a young boy named Riou and the vampire slayer Kahn, slew the evil menace and claimed the castle as their own.  
One day, a young girl came to the castle. Ythe first person who saw her was Luc. The girl, cheerful and hyperactive tried to befriend him but Luc used his rune to drive her away. The girl came back quite incessantly and when Luc threatened to kill her again, she pulled out a pen & revealed that she was a fic writer.  
  
As punishment for Luc's rudeness, everyone (well, almost everyone) in the Suikoverse was forced to participate in a musical parody. Ashamed of what they had to do, everyone decided to put the blame on Luc and shoved him forward as the main character. The fic the girl had planned wasn't only a parody... But a slash.  
If Luc could learn to love and have someone love him in return by the end of the fic, the girl would end the story. If not... Well... That wouldn't be much of a fic, would it? XD  
  
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Okay! So, how was that for a no-brainer? There's more to that, though. Just wait til my compy stops acting up and I finally get down to writing the rest of it. Hmm...I don't think I'll go with the talking furniture, tho... 


	2. Chapter One: An Eventful Morning

Disclaimer: Beauty and the Best doesn't belong to me, neither does Suikoden. They belong to Disney and Konami respectively. I wanna own Sasarai and Luc but... oh well. Cicero "Sey" Kahran appears c/o Rokuryu Studios. Aurthor's Note: This is AU so don't wonder what Dios and Sarah are doing in this fic, save for others in Suiko1.

The Bishop and The 'Beast' Chapter One: The Campsite.

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Sasarai awoke to the sounds of marching. It took him a minute to realize where he was. This wasn't Harmonia...this was the camp of the so- called White Wolf army, the Elite of Luca Blight. Sleepily, he got up, stretched and went about his business of washing and dressing.  
As soon as he stepped out of his tent, the first thing that greeted him was the beautiful sunlight With a contented sigh, he stretched out and decided to take a walk around the campsite. As beautiful as the morning was... He was suddenly inspired to burst into song.

**Sasarai: **Little camp in the ranks of Highland What a trip from far up north.  
Little camp, full of Highland soldiers Who greet me each day with...

**soldier:** My lord!  
**pageboy:** My lord!  
**extra:** My lord, I must confess!

Sasarai winced as something large and heavy was hurled at the soldier who had mentioned something about a confession. Shrugging it off, he decided to go on with his song.

**Sasarai :**There goes Prince Luca in a rush  
Like always  
The madman who began this war  
Every morning's just the same  
Every day with no such change  
For this poor demented camp

**Luca Blight:** Good morning, Sasarai!  
**Sasarai:** As to you, my lord.  
**Luca Blight:** So, where you off to this morning?  
**Sasarai:** Just around. I had the urge to take a walk, seeing as the sky was so blue and all...  
**Luca Blight:** Well that's nice... Solon Jhee! Call the troops!

**Solon Jhee:** Look, there he goes  
That man's a girl, no question.  
**Klaus:** His eyes, his waist, the way he moves.  
**Culgan:** He can turn just any head  
**Seed:** So the ladies want him dead  
**All 4:** Attracting every man, that Sasarai

**Soldier** Lord Jhee!  
**Solon Jhee:** Ten-hut!  
**Sey:** Hey, I'm an extra!  
**Soldier:** Oh god! It's Sey!  
**Soldier:** Run for your life.  
**Sey :**You guys! No fair!  
I'm cutting budgets.  
**Sasarai:** There must be more than this demented life.

**Sey:** Traitors...all of them...  
**Sasarai:** Oh, good morning. Haven't seen you before.  
**Sey:** AAH! I'm not supposed to be here!  
**Sasarai:** Is...is something wrong...?  
**Sey:** Erm...not really...  
**Sasarai:** The why are you in such a rush...?  
**Sey:** I...ah... g'bye! runs off, drops a wind rune  
**Sasarai:** What a peculiar girl... picks up the rune Miss! You dropped you... your ...Wind rune...

The girl ran away, scampering past soldiers and leaping over weapons. As she made her hasty getaway, she passed Seed and Culgan who seemed to be busy talking about something...

**Seed:** Look, there he goes, that man is so peculiar  
His hat's much larger than his head.  
**Culgan:** I don't think he heard your tune  
Coz he's staring at that rune  
**Both:** It seems we just don't get that Sasarai

**Sasarai: **Oh, isn't this confusing  
When I look into this rune,  
I feel  
Like something in me's missing  
As if somewhere out there's  
Another part of me.

**Solon Jhee:** Now for a priest, I'd say that man's a beauty  
He's rather pretty...for a guy.  
**Culgan:** But he stares out into space  
**Seed:** Though you whack him with a mace  
**Kiba:** Very different from the rest of us  
** Klaus:** He's nothing like the rest of us  
**All 5:** We're nothing like that Bishop Sasarai!

The girl bumped into someone else standing near the side of another tent. Whomever she had bumped into was seemingly watching Sasarai with an odd gleam in her eyes.  
**Sarah:** So that's the man I have to get rid of.  
The one who's slashed with Master Luc.  
Sey had to make this fic.  
So I'll kill him real quick  
That pesky man called Bishop Sasarai.

**Soldier** Look, there she goes  
It's an intruder!  
**Soldier2** That girl!  
**Soldier3** Which one, coz I see two.  
**Soldier** The one who said she'd do some killing.  
**Soldier2** We must report to our Lord Luca Blight.

The soldiers began to surround both Sey and Sarah. While Sey tried to make a break for it, Sarah tried to push through the crowd and get to Sasarai, trying to pull out a dagger. She leapt out of the crowd. "This is for Master Luc!" she cried. Sey grabbed her by the leg and pulled her off, running out of the camp.

**Sasarai:** Is there some other half of me outside?  
**Sarah:** I have to kill that Bishop Sasarai!

**Soldiers:** Look there she goes, the nut  
Who made us sing this  
And there's that murderer to be.  
**Culgan**: We'll tie them both in chains  
**Sasarai**: I believe they're all deranged  
**Soldiers** To protect the man our prince has called  
To protect ourselves from something odd  
**Seed:** Can we just please stop singing now...?  
**Soldiers** Guess not...

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And there's chapter one up! Wait until I get the rest of the soundtrack done... 


End file.
